Tire Tracks on the Main Sail?

The week of 9/19 was wonderful for all. Filled with fast days at work for some, mini-vacations for others, friends, romance, adventure and a newfound appreciation for my backyard. This week of ecstasy had us loving life enough to brush off the minor disasters we faced the following Sunday while sailing. The first two of said disasters are further explained in the video below.

So despite the gaping holes and failed electrical tape patch job, we pulled off the most extreme sailing to date. Danielle, a self pronounced speed demon, even took the reigns and pushed the boat to it's limit, which required some pretty dramatic hiking.

We came as close as we ever have to tipping over, which in turn, filled the boat with a quantity of water that necessitated bailing.

We ended the day with a beautiful sunset and Clarksville's world famous Sampler Plattertm. My Flip Flop had broken (again) so I had to dine in some fancy socks.

Early the next week Esta took the sail and batten to The Sailors' Tailor where they assured him that it would by repaired by the following Friday. Unfortunately, due to circumstances, we were unable to pick them up in time and that curtailed the possibility of going out this weekend. It was pretty cold anyways and the time away from the water allowed both of us to pay some extra attention to other projects we have going on right now. With only a few more weeks of acceptable sailing weather left in the year, I'm eagerly awaiting next weekend. Then again, who isn't.

Pittsburgh, Driving To and From, and Such

So on a whim I whimsically went to Pittsburgh to visit my friend Tara. Ever drink moonshine in the backyard at noon on a weekday with random neighbors? I had not until a few days ago. Insofar as I can recall, I have not been to Pittsburgh since 2003 when I saw the Decemberists play at some small bring your own beer type of place,

probably in South Side. In any case, back in 2003 I bought a nice vintage shirt with exaggerated lapels that I meant to wear on this visit, because, well, sometimes life is a series of repetitions and eternal recurrences and sometimes one simply has to submit to these. So, naturally, I was unable to locate said shirt (which anyway I remember is missing a button). Nevertheless, I had an excellent time, and I even wore my seatbelt on the way home [and not only because driving an FJ40 at 70 miles per hour in the dark, and in the rain, is dangerous, but in fact because life seems to be good], though I only made it as far as Columbus. I did, however get to play one of the nicer pianos that I have played in a while, but just for a moment. Tara's father was generous enough to lend the use of his Nikon D300 for a couple of days, for the taking of the pictures.

Either fortunately or unfortunately, we accomplished only a small number of

the previously planned plot devices that we intended to execute during the storyline, and the

trip suffered from an unexpected truncation for which I can only offer a circumlocution by the mere mention of the aforementioned word.

Mia played some successful tug of war with Vali while Max just wanted to go outside. We did manage to accomplish some Pittsburgh-y things such as the consumption of Yuenglings Lager and a visit to Primanti Bros to eat a strange

steak sandwich with cole slaw and french fries on it.

I was thinking about Superman, probably from memory tidbits from Ben's performance of Waiting for Superman at the wedding, and somehow was also simultaneously having concurrent thoughts about performance art, and this made me think of Laurie Anderson's O Superman.

Hello? Is anybody home? Well, you don't know me, but I know you.

And I've got a message to give to you. Here come the planes.

So you better get ready. Ready to go. You can come

as you are, but pay as you go. Pay as you go.

I suppose that you could watch it here if that pickles your pickles:

There is also a nice of shot of either the Liberty Tunnel, or the Squirrel Hill

Tunnel, I cannot recall which, but I love tunnels, and Ladies and Gentleman, We are Floating in Space. So don't sue me J. Spaceman...

Sssshhhhiiiiiiii@#%!!!!!

When the wind is at it's best we like to push it. This is probably not proper sailing technique.

Truncated Introduction To Sailing 101

While the water was calm, I pulled out the camera. Unfortunately the battery died shortly thereafter.

More on Jumping Out of Planes! the FJ40 that tows the boat, and, well, general nonsense

Sometimes one wonders how a story should begin, or possibly even when it should begin. What are the best opening lines? Should we go with Pynchon's "A screaming comes across the sky" or Gass' "So I have sailed the seas and come...to B...a small town fastened to a field in Indiana" or Barth's "For whom is the funhouse fun? Perhaps for lovers." Perhaps none, or perhaps all, but there is always fun to be had for lovers.

In mid August I took a one way flight from Cincinnati to Phoenix to acquire the Toyota FJ 40 that can be seen towing the boat around. This is the third yellow vehicle that I have owned so I must be expressing some kind of subconscious preference for the color; it has trumped black, blue, brown, and silver. The important part is that Erick and I needed a vehicle that could pull the sailboat to and from lakes. The drive back along Interstate 40 was not without life's vicissitudes. I have taken this drive a large enough number of times that I can no longer count them. I find it odd that I always seem to end up at the same gas stations, hotels, campgrounds, and places I would never otherwise eat were I not traveling. The New Mexico leg of the trip involved replacing the alternator on the FJ, which I was able to do myself with some borrowed tools from Autozone, despite the fact that I know

very little about automobile repair. Also, if you are ever in Gallup, New Mexico and your hotel room phone rings, just don't answer it. I did and received the most hilarious solicitation for prostitution I have ever heard, or, perhaps you should answer it because I guarantee you will laugh.

I found a few pictures in my computer machine of a jump that Andrea and I did near Cottonwood, Arizona earlier in the year, so I thought I would throw them up here just for posterity's sake while we are waiting for the pictures of our most recent jump. The jump in Arizona had some super excellent scenery to go along with it as well, not to in any way disparage the flatness of Ohio. So, yes I am not quite sure how or when to begin a story, but so far I am liking the script, and yet I still sometimes find myself saying, "Oh Boy. How did it ever come to this. Was there something that I missed?"

Jumping out of planes!

The acorn squash that Erick and I made was excellent, unexpected, and undoubtedly something I would add to the list of things which are delectable. The finding of the produce farm was a surprisingly serendipitous gem, and, of course, we did horribly delicious, wonderful things to a watermelon. Generally speaking it was an excellent week. I seem to feel a paradigm shift as we continue to shorten our list of 'don'ts' (and by 'don'ts' I mean things that one has decided they will not do). I went to the office for the first time in 13 months and it was not as oppressive as I may have imagined. Erick, Danielle, and I jumped out an airplane earlier today and it provided an exhilaration that rivals Christmas morning, copulation and heroin. Oh baby baby it's a wild world. Thanks Cat. I have tandem jumped a couple of times before, but this was by far the best. I was allowed to pull the chute and we had a spirited opening since the chute did not quite fill on one side, but, hey, we made it. The gentleman who jumped with me said "thanks you saved my life" when we got down to ground and I am still hoping that he was being facetious.

On a another note we decided to pull down the tell-tales on the boat and sail just by feeling the wind. This is probably the most lucid sailing decision we have made. So much more fun, and so much more natural. We have some sailing videos to edit this week, as well as some skydiving videos, so I am sure they will pop up here as soon as we get them together. It's definitely time to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again. So long Marianne...

The Camping Culinary Corner

So people always ask "What's the most important part of sailing?" (No they don't, but for the purposes of this post we'll pretend.) We discovered a couple of weeks ago it is very important to remember to put the boat's plug in. As it turns out the boat fills with water fairly quickly without it. However, in my opinion that isn't the most important thing. To duck while jibbing? Yes, still very important, but I wouldn't say that it is the most crucial aspect of sailing. Personally I believe it's having a tasty, well balanced and nutritional meal the night before. See, sailing can drain you physically and mentally. Sometimes a good meal can be the difference between life and death when you're out there on the open man made lake. I know what you're thinking. "How can one have said meal while camping the night before as you often do?" So I've decided to share the recipes for a delicious feast we prepared by campfire on Friday night.

Originally we probably packed too little food for dinner. It included a couple of good sized kielbasas (kielbasi?), a quarter round of aged sharp provolone, a small loaf of bread and 2 French butter pears. Luckily, when we stopped at a local farm near the lake to purchase firewood, we discovered they were also selling a variety of produce. So we went ahead and bought 2 acorn squashes, a bottle of maple syrup and two small watermelons.

Keep in mind these cooking times will vary based on the intensity of your fire. We had a lot of wood to burn so in this case it was pretty intense.


Toasty Maple Acorn Squash
Cut acorn squash in half lengthwise and scrape out the seeds. Place the squash, cut side down, in a pan with a 1/4 inch or so of water in the bottom of the pan. Cover the pan and cook this over the fire for 20-30 minutes or until the squash is fully cooked. Be careful not to let all the water boil away. Flip the squash over and fill with a tablespoon or so of maple syrup. Cover and cook for an additional 5 minutes.

Smokey Kielbasa and Provolone Sandwich
Cook kielbasa over fire until it splits. While the meat is cooking cut the bread into decent sized slices and top with thin slices of provolone. We used this fancy aged sharp cheese that Esta picked up at the store, but I suppose you could use whatever cheese you like. However, I can't be held responsible if the results are less then desirable. Place the provolone covered bread near the fire until the cheese starts to melt and the bread gets a bit crusty. Cut the kielbasa in half lengthwise and assemble your sandwich. The 2 kielbasas (kielbasi?) were enough for 4 sandwiches.

Caramelized Butter Pears
This one is easy. Put the French butter pears in a pot with a lid and place on fire for 5-10 minutes. Cut the pears into quarters and enjoy. We even drizzled some of the maple syrup on one of them and it was delicious.

Dizzy Watermelon Surprise
Start by cutting a 2 inch hole in the side of the watermelon. Cut it at an angle, kind of like the top of a jack o' lantern, because you'll want to replace this piece later. If it has one side that is flatter then the other, cut opposite of it. This will help the melon stay upright on it's own, otherwise you'll have to prop it up or just hold it. Next pour a quantity of vodka into the watermelon. You'll have to do this several times as it takes a little while for the vodka to soak in .Replace the plug and chill in a cooler of ice. We actually took this on the boat with us the next day, but I don't recommend it. Watermelon is a very juicy and sticky fruit. Plus it's dangerous to cut fruit while the boat is rocking, it takes a sharp knife to cut through the watermelon's thick rind. Also, don't serve this to children, there may be legal consequences depending on where you live.


I hope you enjoy these recipes as much as we did. Bon Appetit!

Non Sequitur, If I May Commit You

It has been an interesting 2 or 3 weeks. I would call it a period of time that did include, among dozens of other hedonistic acts, lapses in judgement, moments of clarity, honesty, love, and ignorance, a few of the best sailing ventures we have yet had. We had better wind the last two times than we have had previously and were able to be more extreme with our handling of the boat. Erick also knows some excellent hat tricks. I quit the internets for a couple of weeks, and just returned to them. I have yet to check my emails for fear that there might be something important in there that I have neglected. In addition to the sailing I went on a 3 day kayak trip in Kentucky, went to Columbus twice, and met some super excellent people, but also a few miscreants, liars, criminals, premature ejaculators, and poor customer service representatives. We also had Jepsen [aka. The Jeff] in town for a wedding (who happens to be the most unique and amazing character in the cast, thus earning him the distinction of the definite article affixed before his name). I think it is fair to say that I never have, and may never again, take someone to a train station 20 minutes away and return 3 days later. I would like to congratulate Lindsey and Ben on their beautiful union on a perfect early September evening in Columbus, Ohio. It was truely excellent to see something so wonderful and loving. At some juncture I recognized that I have usually identified more closely with Aldous Huxley or Tesla, but that this period has been wrought with a more pronounced affection for Aleister Crowley. Some of the jokes from this season are virtually unrepeatable, but hey everyone needs their Double Rainbows, right? We have now had three passengers: first Danielle, then The Jeff, and this past weekend Chris. All were excellent, and now we begin counting the minutes until this weekend. I think that we are going to head up on Friday afternoon with camping in mind, and try to get 2 days of sailing in. On Sunday we will head over to Middletown where Danielle, I, and hopefully Melissa will jump out of a perfectly nice airplane, because, well, We Can! Not that anyone should get all Rick James on Eddie Murphy's couch.

Bobby You're Sailing Backwards!

So last Sunday we loaded up and split for Cowan Lake again. Surprisingly most everything was more difficult this time, waking up was even a challenge for some...
OK maybe that wasn't such a surprise.
We arrived in the afternoon to another boat race, this time oriented differently on the lake, but no worries the boat ramp was clear. We stepped the mast but with some difficulties. We actually had to call on our friend, first passenger and photographer 'o the day Danielle for some help.
We got the boat in the water, hopped in and expected to rocket off the dock just as we had the last time. Instead we ended dropping the sails to avoid crashing into the pontoon boats directly to our right. It prevented the "crash" but not the contact. After righting our course we put as much space between us and the before mentioned pontoons as possible. The embarrassment of this event was lessened by the capsized boat a bit further out and the calls of a man across the water sounding "Bobby your sailing backwards... Come on!" It seemed to be a youth sailing lesson in progress.

There wasn't as much wind as last weekend but we made due. We tried practicing tacking as much as possible. Turns out (no pun intended) we're doing some things wrong but here's some video anyways.





They weren't all this bad but I doubt any were as impressive as some we accidentally accomplished the weekend before.
It was still a lot of fun. We had some lunch in the cove again...



and spent some time relaxing...


Before we knew it, it was time to head in. I suggested we shoot around the island again, after all it was the best wind we had all day. Just as we round the back corner of the island, the sky puffed it's last breath of suitable, sail-able air.


A little over an hour later we made it back to the ramp. There was an oar involved, but luckily we had our fill of cranberry/orange juice and unnameable beverage to battle the scurvy.
We took down the mast and made it home a bit after sunset only to discover the trailer strap had snapped. A new strap is in route now from Amazon.com so we can make the scheduled trip on Labor day.

We Did It!

Sunday morning we broke down camp and headed to the marina. As we arrived we were excited to see a few sailboats already out on the water.



We launched the boat reasonably well for our first go, pulled the sail up and were off. As it turns out sailing downwind is fairly easy.



Before too long we were across the lake. However, when we turned around we noticed an armada of boats had entered the water behind us. Unsure as to exactly what was going on we decided to set a course towards the fleet of sailboats. As it turns out sailing into the wind was not quite as easy.



As we got closer we realized we had stumbled into the middle of a boat race. Trying as best we could we limped around the mass of sailboats to safer waters. We spent the rest of the day fine tuning our skills, only losing total control of the vessel once or twice, relaxing in the cove and playing a game of chase the hat. In case you are wondering the hat was lost during a not so intentional jibe. At the end of the day we were feeling pretty comfortable navigating the boat.




Finally we executed a perfect landing, pulled her out of the water and headed home. It was a fantastic day and experience we will remember for the rest of our lives. Stage one of the Sailboat Experiment is complete.